But it’s a Jeep

I thought about breaking all of the rules of common sense and safety-ness that have been swimming in my head for the past — pandemic time frame — and going to a store to buy some much needed polo shirts.

I like polo shirts.

I have not been to a store to buy said shirts since last fall, when the weather became a little cooler and long sleeves were OK to wear.

That was in early December.

There is no such thing as cool weather in the fall anymore. The leaves on trees don’t change color —they just wither up and die.

Anyway ... I thought a lot about it. So much so that I fell asleep a lot.

Thinking does that to me.

What I decided was to not venture to a store — a nice store with soft music playing and offering more than one color shirt — because ...

I bought a Jeep.

I have a Jeep payment now.

I also thought about veturing out and eating at a nice sit-down restaurant. Nothing too fancy.

I like the eateries that offer placemats with little cartoons on them so you can color while you wait for your food.

I’m talking in the $19.99 price range for a meal and nice glass of unsweet tea.

Again, I was going against my pandemic mindset —even thinking about going anywhere that might have more than six people is something I just don’t want to do.

But that’s not why I decided not to venture out and order food and then color a picture of a bear in the woods, or a man in a fire truck.

I bought a Jeep.

I have a Jeep payment.

Because the COVID-19 snuck in and played havoc with my sense of normalcy, I am no longer one of those “shopping guys.”

We’re out there — or at least we used to be.

“Gotta run to the store and get milk and bread and eggs.”

And then 20 minutes after we get back, “Oh shoot, I forgot the bread. I gotta go back out.”

And then 20 minutes later.

“Coffee was on sale so I got a couple ... Oh, shoot, forgot the bread again. I’ll be right back.”

It’s crazy bad.

But not now. When I’m out of bread I’ll eat crackers. Milk? Who needs milk? Coffee on sale? I’m drinking tap water only, thank you very much.

And not because I’m afraid of the chuckle heads who don’t understand what social distancing is, who seem to love to go to the grocery store the same time I do. and just crowd, crowd, crowd.


I bought a Jeep.

I have a Jeep payment.

Even going out to look at a Jeep took all the courage I could muster.

I didn’t go as far as wearing rubber gloves and a raincoat to go look at one — though I did use almost four gallons of hand sanitizer and went through 17 disposable masks.

And I bought a Jeep.

I now have a Jeep payment.

I have no regrets about purchasing my new-to-me Jeep.

This will be my ... Third?

I even bought a couple of little stickers to put on it to make it more “mine.”

They look really spiffy.

I like to look out of my window and admire it. Every once in a while I even go outside and sit in it.

“Vroooom! Vroooom!” I shout above the music playing from the stereo.

“Vrooom! Vroooom! Watch me go!” I shout.

I don’t drive it as much as I want to. It gets something like 700 yards to a gallon of gas —though the stereo does sound really good.

“Man, that Pearl Jam song just surfs! Vrooom! Vrooom!” I shout.

Because, well ... the price of gas has gone up a little bit lately.

And I bought a Jeep.

And I have a Jeep payment.