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Why do you think we’re here?

So.

Why do you think we’re here — on this planet at this time living our everyday lives?

Here’s my theory: To learn, to grow, to experience — whether that’s spiritually, the accumulation of knowledge; or even physically (look at my big muscles or, in my case, “Good gosh, I’m as big as a house!”), we expand our base.

That’s my theory and part of my growth process has been to learn about other people, learn about their lives, their experiences.

I mean, everyone has a story of how they got from Point A to Point B and they are worth listening to.

So.

I looked straight ahead, too afraid (nerves?) to watch.

“Oh my gosh that hurts … Oh, the humanity!” I scream.

Patrick Cameron looks at me with an expression that’s hard to describe — kinda like when you catch your new puppy doing something he shouldn’t be doing on your living room carpet.

“I haven’t started yet,” he says.

Under normal circumstances I would be embarrassed. This is not a normal circumstance.

“I know. I’m just … Practicing,” I say.

I say it with a smirk, too.

I’m getting ready to get inked — you know, get a “tat.”

Cameron hasn’t started yet and I am already thinking about what kind of motorcycle — “Hog” — I’m going to get; what kind of bars and dark alleys I will hang around; and where to find a woman who either 1) wears lots of leather; 2) raises herbs and stuff with a name like “Sunbeam” or “Moonvision”, and/or; 3) doesn’t shave her legs.

I pick up the piece of wood I brought for the occasion (a Lincoln Log — it was all I could find) and bite down.

“All right, put the needle to me,” I say with clinched teeth.

It sounds like, “Ahh why up a meethie uma.”

So.

That is my thought process about what getting a tattoo means. Something like that.

Everyone has a “vision” of what certain parts of life are like — a stereotype, if you will.

I’ve been having a running, semi-serious conversation with my son — who will soon turn 30 — about if I’m ever going to be a grandfather.

“Come on, Drew, I’m ready to be a grandfather. I’ll be one of those old guys shaking his fist at his grandkid, saying, ‘Don’t sit on that you’ll break it!’ and ‘Don’t you touch that TV — Gilligan’s Island is about to come on!’ and ‘Hey you, kid! … Pull my finger.’”

There’s a recording I have heard of the late Dean Martin talking during a recording session. He was apparently waiting for a sound engineer to do something and he said (in essence), “Can we hurry up a little, I have to get a tattoo at 2:30.”

That popped in my head before Cameron started working on my “Stick Man.”

It’s a music thing.

So.

Why does an overweight, 57-year-old newspaper editor get a tattoo?

Simple, it’s a mid-life crisis thing, right? He’s trying to regain youth and/or excitement, be daring, put a little “rebel” back into his life, etc.

Not quite.

I’m too old and too slow to be a rebel and I have enough excitement in my life thanks to my dog, Buster.

And honestly, I like my age.

I’m not sure why I decided to go ahead with the tattoo — the iconic (to me) Pearl Jam “Stick Man.”

I want to say I did it for the story we have in this edition of The Courier News, or that I just wanted to have that experience, or any number of other reasons — none of which is the exact reason.

I guess it’s a combination.

And as for all the things I said I thought tattoos mean — the motorcycle, etc.: Those never crossed my mind.

The one thing I did think about was that I was getting something done that is going to be with me for life. So, for me, it was the perfect choice.

Cameron is just a guy — a pretty cool-kinda guy — who happens to be a good tattoo artist.

And he’s a good artist with other mediums — watercolors, for one.

He wants to see what other artists are doing as well.

But beyond the art, the ink, the interesting life, the man loves his coffee.

He was going to, at one time, give up the tattoo business to run a coffee truck.

So.

I won’t advocate or promote Patrick and Brandi Cameron’s business, Clinch River Tattoo and Coffee.

But I will say my Pearl Jam “Stick Man” tattoo surfs and I’m a happy overweight, 57-year-old newspaper editor because I had a new — and fun — experience.

I will say the Camerons have some interesting art hanging around Clinch River Tattoo and Coffee (and doesn’t that name just beg you to find out “Hey, what’s going on in there?”) and that he wants to see what others are doing.

Seriously, stop by, let him know.

I will say the cup of coffee I got this morning was pretty awesome — he roasts the beans himself (and I haven’t tried one of the muffins yet — though I bought four of those bad boys: That’s me, always trying to “expand”).

I won’t say, “Visit for the coffee,” or the art, or advocate getting a tattoo.

I will urge you to just visit and broaden your life experience — even if you just walk in, say “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m …” and walk out.

I urge you visit any business in our city and do just that.