I don’t have a squirrel problem, they do

In the Light

So, I’m getting a lot of advice about a squirrel problem I’m having.

But it’s not really a problem.

At least not to me.

But I’m still getting advice.

I almost feel like all of these advice givers are some form of government — “Here, let me make it better for you.”

And when they start talking about how I need to buy this and that — spend money that I don’t need to spend — I’m pretty sure they’re some kind of government-type people.

It started with the big windows in the sunroom — a great place to hang bird feeders on the outside and watch birds.


But these squirrels are smart. They climb on the roof and shimmy down and hang upside down on the bird feeders and eat the seeds and whatnot.

One even climbs the little section of wall between the windows and jumps over to the feeders. Same result — dude’s just hanging there eating seeds.

My dogs, Buster and Mazie bark and bark and bark and bark, but the squirrels don’t pay attention to them.

It’s like the squirrels are saying, “Stupid dogs, these are yummy seeds we’re talking about here.”

Then my neighbors, all my friend, and even family (gasp) started telling me how to get rid of the squirrels.

“Why do I want to get rid of the squirrels?” I asked.

“Because they’re squirrels,” I was told.


I tell them the squirrels are as relaxing to watch as the birds — maybe even a bit more entertaining because they hang upside down and make fun of the dogs and stuff.

“Yeah, but they’re squirrels,” I’m told.

Then they start telling me about stuff I should buy.

Little plastic things to hang above and under the bird feeders, and wind chime-like contraptions (because the squirrels apparently don’t like the noise these things make), OR (even worse) get a BB gun and shoot at them.

They act like I’m being invaded by a horde of Jihadist, anti-everything good, little fuzzy things.

Sure, they’re rodents, but they aren’t, like, rat rodents. They’re cute rodents.

“Take care of those squirrels, yet?” I’m asked.

“I’ll get to it,” I say.

“Why don’t you go buy …” they start.

Maybe they have stock in the companies that make the stuff they want me to buy.

But they are just trying to help me, right?

“Do you work for the government and you’re here to help me?” I ask.

Oh no … nothing like that.

“I just don’t like squirrels,” I’m told.

Seems, that’s their problem, not mine.

But yet, they want me to buy something from a company they probably have stock in so that I can take care of a problem I’m not concerned about.

They’re just trying to help me.

Yeah, if they aren’t in government, they should be.

I solved my squirrel problem without spending a dime.

I took down the bird feeders.