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Foul Balls

High Schools Move Gameday Parking to Force Parents to Exercise

Local area high schools are doing their part in fighting the obesity epidemic plaguing the nation. Nearly 75-percent of men, and 60-percent of women in America classify as overweight or obese.

To contribute to fighting this epidemic, Clinton and Anderson County High School have both said that, for this upcoming football season, they will be blocking off any parking less than a two-hundred feet from the ticket gates. Only those with a registered handicap sticker will be allowed to park any closer to the ticket gates, and anyone caught violating the new rule will have their car booted by the school’s resource officer. To remove the boot, the individual will have to perform, “no more than ten, and no less than five jumping jacks” according to the official policy.

Anderson County’s new assistant junior athletic director, Jerry Perry, said that everyone is very excited for the new rule.

“We’re big about fitness with the students and helping them to stay fit and healthy, but it’s time we started helping the parents too,” said Perry, smoking a cigarette. “It’s a little step, but every little step burns calories.”

Some parents are already excited about the new change. I caught up with Rebecca Golding, the mother of AC star linebacker Bruce Golding and asked for her thoughts about the new policy.

“I think it’s a great idea,” said Rebecca, playing with the buttons on her mobility scooter. “The doctors say it’s an epidemic, and everyone needs to do their part. It will be good for them to get a little exercise. I mean, those players out on the field exercise almost every day, and it never hurts them one bit.”

The policy change wasn’t the only one considered by the school. Other options considered included moving the concession stand at least 200 feet away from the stands, or only selling fruits and vegetables as concessions. Both options were quickly dismissed as ridiculous. One idea was to stop selling soft drinks and sodas at the concession stand because of the high sugar content, but once it was pointed out that they would also have to quit selling sweet tea as well, that idea was dismissed too.

The policy will only be enforced at football games, though some hope that other sports will follow suit. Clinton soccer coach Chris Chortain is doubtful.

“Dude, if you’ll come and watch us play, you can park on the field itself for all I care.”

Schools in other counties have followed suit, with some offering their own unique take on the policy. Wets High School, for example, does not have the space to enact a similar parking policy, but they’ve started offering free pizza to anyone that cycles to football games.