Good bye and good riddance

You know, 2020 wasn’t that bad.

I think it tried.

I think it felt so bad about what it did to everyone that it tried to make up for it by giving a lot of us a white Christmas.

But, as they say, it was a little too little, a little too late.

There was death — lots of it. There was destruction. There were quarantines out the ying-yang, and isolation.

There was virtual everything.

Let’s see ... We also had curbside pickup of groceries and booze.

We had misinformation out the ying-yang, as well.

It was hard to believe anything you read or heard because there seemed to be so many things (people, podcasts, Disney shows) to contradict what you thought was the truth, but then you had to stop and think, “Was that the truth?’ and you didn’t really know because ... Well, the only thing people seemed to trust was something they wanted to hear.

Meanwhile, in the world of sports ...

But we also learned to appreciate some things we might have taken for granted before 2020 came along.

Who thought they’d miss spending vacations with their family? You know, Uncle Bruno the cranky old so-and-so who might have a wee bit of a problem with the bottle. And Aunt Gertie, who can’t go three minutes without pinching some poor child’s face and cooing like a pigeon with a bag full of popcorn. Or Cousin Albertia, who was always sneaking smokes and cursing like a sailor — then blaming it on you.

But we missed them.

Actually, I think we missed not having the option to tolerate these good folks, then complain about it until the next year.

Suddenly, simple phrases meant to assure us scared the living doo-doo out of us.

“Are you sure that’s the correct answer?”

“I’m positive.”

Run and hide, run and hide.

A lot of people took tests that there was no way to study for.

Meanwhile, in the world of sports ...

Many lost loved ones and became angry, but anger wasn’t the worst feeling. That belonged to a feeling of helplessness because there was nothing we could do.

We could try. But so much of what affected us didn’t depend on what we did, but what others did.

Or didn’t do.

People made fools of themselves over masks.

Masks!

Seriously. Let’s see, your cellphone can be traced, your internet habits can be monitored, your car can be traced, the government assigns you a number at birth so it can trace your earnings, but a mask somehow infringes on your “rights.”

“You sure you don’t want to wear a mask when you go out?”

“I’m positive.”

In a world where we have video and photos of everything under the sun — rats eating pizza in New York, celebrities and government officials not following CDC guidelines even after they proclaimed how necessary they are, an RV in Nashville when it exploded ...

Where are the photos and video of ballots being delivered in pizza boxes?

“You saw 10,000 ballots brought in on a hand cart? Really?”

“I’m positive.”

Meanwhile in the world of sports ...

Used to be sports were something like a comfort zone. Hey, get away from what troubles you have and go catch a game. Take a nine-inning vacation, rally ’round the ole’ team.

Sports are cartoons for those with too much testosterone. Why watch a roadrunner beat up a coyote when you can watch human beings doing it to each other and you can bet on it?

“You sure they’re going to play that game today?”

“I’m positive.”