We’re gonna need new names
Terms of endearment can vary from people to people.
There’s the traditional, “Darlin’” and “Sweety,” which always makes me think I’m eating at a truck stop in Alabama.
Some people expand on those terms of endearment —depending on their mood — with such things as, “Light of my life, blessing from the Lord,” in a sorta sarcastic way.
And there’s the favorite, “Honey bunches of oats,” which is often said right before breakfast. Some people wake up hungry.
I’ve always like, “Pumpkin pie tater tot,” but I can’t for the life of me remember where I first heard that.
It’s not uncommon for a guy to tell another guy, “She’s the sunshine to my Ray Bans,” when he’s talking about his spouse/girlfriend/or in some cases, mother-in-law.
Or maybe it is uncommon. I don’t know. I just made it up.
But our terms of endearment are changing as our nation grows angrier and angrier.
I try not to let real life situations interfere with my terms of endearment. I don’t call a Republican, “My little right-wing insurrectionist,” or any Democrat I know, “A hot-blooded anarchist.”
I still prefer “Pumpkin pie tater tot,” though because it can fit anyone — especially little kids.
“That sure is a cute pumpkin pie tater tot you have.”
See? It just fits right in.
And maybe, just maybe, we’re beyond terms of endearment, because it just seems that if I don’t think like you do, then I am an enemy.
Everybody who disgarees with you has “Gone to the dark side,” like there’s a whole slew of Jedi out there waiting to see what color their light sabre will be when it gets turned on.
“Ooooh, red? What does that mean?”
I don’t want to be anyone’s enemy, but I do want to have my own opinions about certain things, like baseball and music, and even politics.
I like the Chicago White Sox.
I mean, I’ll make fun of some people who happen to be Chicago Cubs fans, but that’s just because it’s what I did growing up — like Tennessee Volunteer fans make fun of Vanderbilt fans and/or University of Alabama fans.
I also like Pearl Jam and I don’t mind people saying I listen to “old people” music, although I disagree.
I don’t like it when someone asks me, “What is that noise?” when I’m cranking up the “Yield” or “No Code” compact disc.
That’s just rude.
Somewhere we need to find common ground about things — about everything, really.
Or maybe not.
But we need to get back to respecting each other even if our opinions differ, if our tastes differ. If we all thought, felt, and liked the same things, it would be a boring world. I’m not a big fan of boring.
Although I’ll take boring over the over-excitement brought on by what’s been transpiring lately.
It’s OK to agree to disagree. Really, it is. It doesn’t mean your opinion or tastes are less than suitable — it just means they are yours.
Just like “pumkin pie tater tot,” is probably not the best term of endearment, it surely beats, “dark-hearted vagabond.”
I just made that one up, too.
I think the saddest thing that could happen in this crazy world is that we would lose friendships and/or family ties because of a difference of opinion.
I’d like to think that we are an intelligent type of people.
But then I eat a meal at a truck stop in Alabama and after an hour, I think my name really is, “Darlin’.”
Or is that, “Sweety?”
